Wrap that rotten raisin you call a brain around this name: LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS. That's right ladies, I went there. There may be a few of you out there that don't know who this king of tinseltown is and to you I say FUCK YOU. You can go straight to hell if you're not "in the know" about LDP. Straight to hell. You know, it's people like you that cause species of animals to go extinct and the ozone to be depleted. Well, not really, that's probably more to do with destruction of habitats and deforestation as well as uncontrolled pollution, but you catch my goddamn drift. LDP!!!! BOOOM!!! You probably thought I was going into a different subject or that I'd forgotten what I was talking about, but I DIDN'T. I blind-sided you with another swift, furious strike. LDP!!!!! I did it again. That's how you set the tone, whores. You lie in wait, let the audience calm down and believe that everything is cinco-"c" (calm, cool, collective, calm and cool) and SHBLOOM, you pounce like a fuckin puma. L-D-P! I bet you thought I was done, but that's just another enigma. I diverted your attention by explaining how to divert someone's attention! That's right...I can barely wrap my brain around it either. What? You're nodding your head in agreement that I am barely smart enough to figure out my own tricks? It's on. Here's what happens next: I choke-slam you. It's pretty simple, really. You put me down...I bury you. But to finish my earlier thought, LDP is badass.
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