The Big Cat

The big cat. That's right. The big cat, the large feline, the huge pussy! Hold on. That last one doesn't convey the message I'm looking for here. You see, by calling myself "the big cat" I'm saying I'm the top of the heap--the alpha. And I'm just not seeing it with "huge pussy." Yes, I know that people call cats "pussycats," but I don't give a shit. I am THE big fucking cat and I don't want people to think of me as the big pussy. Well fuck you then. You're out of the squad! What squad?!? Fuck you! That's what squad! Seriously, remember the squad we started a couple years back? "The Bod Squad." That's right. I know we haven't even mentioned it in like, 15 years. I know, dude. Yes, I know we got our asses kicked when some other dudes found out about it in middle school. Shut up. I'm kicking you off the squad and there's really nothing you can do about it. No, you can't just start up a second "bod squad." You just told me you thought it was gay anyways. Then why the fuck would you just start up another bod squad? Why wouldn't you start up a new club with a sweet name, like "the sleeper cell." That's bad ass. But you can't use that name, dick. I really don't care that I'm the only one left in the bod squad and that a single individual cannot constitute a "squad." Well wait. Are you sure about that? I'm not sure I believe you. You have an interest in getting back into the squad, so you might be justblowin' smoke up my ass. But maybe not. How do I get into "Bod Squad II?"